Talking to Tuzzo about girls

Me: my friend has suggested that next time I talk to [someone] I sit down next to her and say as frankly as I can, "So.... what are your thoughts on abortion?"
Me: I'm pretty sure I couldn't do this with a straight face
Me: which makes it even worse

--

Me: oh if I only I could turn Leanne into a feminine crusader
Martuzzo: haha
Me: asking out shy boys and making them feel good about themselves
Me: probably ethically a poor choice because she'd just be leading them on
Me: but still

--

Me: man
Me: maybe I'd be justified having a summer fling with a sophomore
Me: don't temp me Tuzzo
Me: there was so much Hello Nurse out today I almost lost it
Martuzzo: where?
Me: everywhere!!
Me: the pool in my complex, people walking around campus
Me: out on Green St. when I went to lunch with a friend
Me: summertime man!
Martuzzo: haha
Martuzzo: finally at the pool eh?
Me: dood
Me: many girls there
Me: we should bring laptops and work at the pool soon
Me: :D
Martuzzo: hahaha
Martuzzo: that would be so hilarious
Me: I seriously will man
Me: we can bring Dellington and use him as girl bait
Me: and take a picture
Martuzzo: haha
Martuzzo: what good times

--

Me: I just wrapped that tennis racket that attached you
Me: with black seething death
Me: ALSO
Me: EARTH SHATTERING EVENT
Me: Almost screen-shot worth
Me: Ashley is attending an event on Facebook
Me: she actually replied
Me: HOLY GOD
Me: the world may collapse
Me: in other news
Me: the horrible highlights section on Facebook has informed me
Me: that [someone] is tooling around on Facebook while actively logged on to AIM and very much not talking to me
Me: this coffin is running out of space for nails

Tennis and PB&J Time

Me: we last like an hour at most though
Me: and I'm full of way too much Peanut Butter Jelly time at the moment
Martuzzo: hahaha
Martuzzo: that = energy for tennis
Me: eventually
Me: once the dance sensation reaches past the stomach

iPEC

[22:02] Casey: HEll yeah
[22:02] Casey: I am alive
[22:02] Casey: AND playing fast and loose with the CAPS LOCK
[22:02] Me: HOLY SHIT
[22:02] Me: He's advanced to level two of Scientology where they reveal the cruise-control for cool
[22:03] Casey: I have no thetans
[22:03] Casey: I either have no thetans or all the thetans
[22:03] Me: So the citizenry has polled, no protested, no postered me continuously to ask you a very important question
[22:04] Casey: yes.
[22:04] Casey: I am ready.
[22:06] Me: oh right right
[22:06] Me: sorry head in the toilet again
[22:06] Me: one cannot resist the swirly
[22:07] Me: anywho what happens to you after they dis-awesomely discharge you from the Americorps?
[22:07] Casey: You mean when I get canned, or when I make it out?
[22:07] Me: Or take over the operation and sell it as the answer to level-three of Scientology
...
[22:10] Me: So not founding an international positive event chain NGO
[22:11] Me: When is your time up?
[22:11] Casey: mid-june
[22:11] Casey: just in time to NOT be able to hit any summer internships
[22:11] Casey: (thanks, asshats)
[22:12] Casey: yeah the IPEC is going to have to wait
[22:13] Casey: until it doesn't sound either like an international oil agreement, or a new Apple-produced exercise device

Ass groove

[17:56] Me: my mom is all about wasting money
[17:56] Me: it's a huge problem
[17:56] Me: anyway
[17:56] Me: I won't rant about her
[17:56] Me: instead
[17:56] Me: I shall talk about my old computer chair
[17:56] Me: that I love
[17:56] Me: because it's falling apart
[17:56] Me: but it's awesome
[17:56] Me: you can tip back in so many dangerous ways
[17:56] Me: it's like an adventure every time you sit down
[17:57] Laura: heehee
[17:57] Laura: and super comfortable I'm sure
[17:57] Me: it has an ass groove better than Shakira
[17:57] Laura: ....
[17:57] Me: (does Shakira have a good ass groove?)

Final Paper

Swamy: Sadly, not many sentences escaped my wrath
Me: good
Me: those motherfuckers
Me: trying to communicate
Me: the nerve

Childhood Obesity

Ishan: anyways, i asked about camping, and you didn't give me a clear answer
Ishan: know this I am very sweet
Ishan: infact I am responsible for most childhood obesity in america
Ishan: so, that should no doubt convince you

Caveman vs. Zombie

Me: yawn
Ashley: good morning sunshine
Me: I'm trying to figure out which I'm closer to upon waking up
Me: a caveman or a zombie
Ashley: hahahaha
Ashley: thats cute
Me: you're cute
Me: awwwwww shit disssss